Being a mom to Bodhi has changed my life in so many ways. There are times when I’m tired or overwhelmed. And there are times when I’m just living in the moment and enjoying life… and then there are times when I am joyful and nostalgic to a fault. You know the times when you feel like you could cry for no good reason? That happens with B all the time. I look at him and STILL can’t believe he’s our sweet little boy born only 21 short months ago. It’s already time to plan his second birthday. How can this be?
In B’s short life, he has done many things that, at the time, I thought I would never forget. But just as time heals all wounds, time tends to erase some of the beautiful memories too. Maybe it’s my mommy brain, but things just don’t stick like they used to.
It melts my heart when Bodhi is sleepy, runs up to me, wraps his little arms around my legs, looks up with the sweetest face ever and says “Mommy hold you.” I pick him up and we enjoy big sweet hugs and cuddles. I don’t ever want to forget that he went through a period of months saying “mommy hold you” when he meant to say “mommy, hold me.”
And I don’t ever want to forget…
- The smell of B’s hair at bedtime
- The way B says “Mommy what is that?” over and over again all the time. I love his curiousity.
- The way he answers many questions with a simple “ok” or says “oh yes” in a happy cheerful tone
- That B called football “shoeball” this year
- His hysterical giddy laugh when playing with daddy and him saying “daddy funny”
- His sweet peaceful face when he is asleep in the carseat
- The way he sings every song in the car-even the ones he doesn’t know the words to
- The way he has his hands on your skin when he drifts off to sleep. He has to be touching you always.
- How much joy I get every night at bedtime-my husband and I share looks of “I can’t believe this is our child” every. single. night. It never gets old.
- The way he talks about other people and includes them in his stories
- The “goat bited Bodhi’s shirt” story. Bodhi believes that a goat at a petting zoo this fall bit his shirt, but I was there. The goat was just pushing his face into Bodhi trying to find the feed. :)
- The way he says “mmmmm yummy” when he gets to eat something new
- The way he starts dancing anytime there is music and requests dance parties with daddy and mommy all the time. So fun!
- The joy he gets from things that I see as simple or not that interesting. Snow. Mall of America. Music. Playing with water. Cooking. Stirring anything that we are going to bake. Cows. He is obsessed with cows. He forces me to see life with fresh eyes. For this, I am so thankful.
You hear it all the time from other parents, but the hard moments really are SO worth it. I can’t figure out a good way to take it all in. Life is busy and beautiful and sometimes there is not enough time in a day to stop and smell the flowers, but I’ll keep trying. I’ll keep enjoying the things that, right now, are just the way it is and that someday, I will miss. What do you want to remember forever?